I still remember being 13 years old in the nurse’s office at school almost monthly. I was in pain, nauseous, weak, and scared. My cramps had started small one morning and just continued to get worse throughout the day so I decided I would visit the nurse. I vomited in the waiting area as she called my mom. I was bleeding. I had stabbing pains in my stomach. I was 13.

This was ‘normal’.

This was just par for the course each month as I got my period.

The doctor just said I needed a higher pain medication. She prescribed me a liquid naproxen because at 13 I still couldn’t swallow pills. I can still remember the texture of the advil I had to chew up because I just needed relief.

I can recall dozens and dozens of times that I laid on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night with blood running down my legs as I waited for the pain medication to kick in.

I can recall less than 6 months ago laying on my bed yelling out in pain unsure if I was going to ever find relief.

I remember the years of weight loss diets and exercising and teas and restrictions I put on myself because no matter how healthy I ate or how much I exercised I couldn’t lose the weight.

I remember poisoning my body – twice – with rounds of harsh Accutane because of the harsh cystic acne that covered my face, neck, chest and back.

I remember clearly the day my fifth doctor just prescribed me birth control to handle my acne, heavy bleeding, and painful cramps.

I can remember the most excruciating and traumatizing pain I have ever felt while I got an HSG done unmedicated and told that there was nothing wrong and my tubes were clear.

I can remember not wanting to be touched for weeks after because I felt as if I had been violated in a way that I would never come back from even though I had given consent.

I recall in perfect detail as what I thought was my last resort doctor told me “your labs are clear, your ultrasounds are fine, and the HSG was good so I can no longer help you. You have unexplained infertility and all I can do is refer you to a fertility specialist.”

It’s at this point that I was at my lowest of lows. I had all of these symptoms, no answers – and no baby. My hopelessness overtook me most days and my motivation was gone. I started 2022 with the saddest outlook I had ever had. I felt lost and abandoned by God. I saw my friends and loved ones moving forward with their own families and their own plans and I felt left behind. It’s at this point that I truly thought we would never be able to have a family and that I would spend my days not only childless, but in pain.

But. God.

Months prior on a search for a new doctor I scheduled an appointment at Magnificat Family Medicine almost on whim. Sadly I had to wait almost 6 months to get in because they were so popular.

Finally the day of the appointment came and I was able to speak with the PA there about some bloodwork I had done, as well as an ultrasound. She knew immediately that something was wrong and spent a large amount of time explaining to me that I did indeed have the symptoms and makings of having PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome.) The symptoms I had were: acne, weight gain, low progesterone, fatigue, and infertility.

The symptoms of PCOS can include:

• Missed periods, irregular periods, or very light periods
• Ovaries that are large or have many cysts
• Excess body hair, including the chest, stomach, and back (hirsutism)
• Weight gain, especially around the belly (abdomen)
• Acne or oily skin
• Male-pattern baldness or thinning hair
• Infertility 
• Small pieces of excess skin on the neck or armpits (skin tags)
• Dark or thick skin patches on the back of the neck, in the armpits, and under the breasts

She then started me on the journey of taking some supplements and vitamins to help. Currently I take:

• Ovasital
• N-acetyl-cysteine 
• Vitex Chasteberry
• Vitamin D
• Bio identical progesterone (prescribed)

I then proceeded on a few months of taking these supplements and then returned for bloodwork. It’s at this point that I met with Dr. Delcoco. She made me cry immediately – in a good way. She listened to what I said with no judgement and with a caring heart.

This is when told me that she was about 70-80% sure that I would need excision surgery for endometriosis.

Endometriosis is a condition in which cells similar to the lining of the uterus, or endometrium, grow outside the uterus. Endometriosis often involves the pelvic tissue and can envelop the ovaries and fallopian tubes. It can affect nearby organs, including the bowel and bladder.

Endometriosis is NOT only a reproductive disease, as it can be found throughout the entire body.

Endometriosis generally causes infertility in two ways.

• First, it may block the fallopian tubes by implanting directly within or around the tubes.  When this occurs, the sperm cannot traverse the length of the tube to fertilize the egg in the fimbria, or distal most end of the tube adjacent to the ovary.
• Second, and this method is much less well understood, it is thought that the endometriosis effects the peritoneal fluid within the pelvis in such a way that the fluid becomes toxic to sperm and egg.  This method is thought to involve complexities within the immune system and the body’s inflammatory response.

-excerpt from Fertility and Midwifery Care Center

Basically – I was working on my hormonal health, my egg health seemed to be okay because I was showing signs of ovulation (at least I thought) but my pelvic health needed some help.

Then begin my journey to endometriosis excision surgery.

I met with Dr. Stroud over the phone and he presented me with the facts, figures, and all the good stuff. Dr. Delcoco recommended him simply because he treats endometriosis the way it SHOULD be treated: he excises it (or cuts it out) instead of just lasering it off.

The endometriosis implants visualized at the time of laparoscopy may exhibit a “tip of the iceberg” phenomenon in that the lesion may extend deep within surrounding tissue.  Burning or cauterizing the implants, while much less difficult and time-consuming, is ineffective at treating the disease.  For the best results, in terms of both pain control and fertility, the disease must be completely resected and the defects created by the resection carefully repaired using microsurgical techniques to prevent adhesion (scar) formation.

Fertility and Midwifery Care Center

I was terrified, hopeful, yet so uncertain. I was 28 at this point – having dealt with all of these symptoms for 15 years I had just accepted I may never find relief. I just assumed that after years of downplaying my symptoms and gaslighting myself into ‘normalcy’ that there wasn’t ‘actually’ anything wrong with. Therefore – it was both terrifying yet affirming to hear that both Dr. Delcoco and Dr. Stroud were fairly confident that I did in fact also have endometriosis.

I scheduled the surgery for October 27th, 2022.

Never having had any type of surgery before – I was naturally scared. I had dealt with 15 years of pain monthly but the unknowns and unchartered territory of a major surgery were so not something I thought I would ever have to experience.

I had such peace from the Lord during this phase. I had fears – like anyone – but I also had this undeniable strength that only came from God. There were no self affirmations or good vibes that would have given me such intense joy in the fact that I was finally finding answers.

Right before I went back for surgery Dr. Stroud leveled with me. He said that best, yet also worse case scenario, was that they do the laparoscopic incisions, insert the cameras and find nothing wrong. Worse case scenario because that would not lead to answers, best case scenario because then I wouldn’t have endometriosis.

I woke up from surgery unsure what they had found. I had to wait for Brandon and my Dad to visit me and explain to me what Dr. Stroud had explained to them what he found.

• I had an almost entirely blocked fallopian tube on the right side (surprise surprise – my HSG should not have been excruciating painful if my fallopian tube was clear…)
• He found endometriosis tissue in multiple places: the underside of my uterus and on the The Pouch of Douglas (POD), also known as rectouterine pouch and posterior cul-de-sac. It is bordered anteriorly by the posterior uterus and posteriorly by the rectosigmoid colon. 

Since surgery:

• my left hip/pelvic pain has improved
• my bloating has dwindled to maybe once every few weeks as opposed to every day
• my period cramps have become slowly more mangable as I heal. I am not 100% pain free but I am only 10 weeks post op and have had only 3 cycles so far (each one dwindling in pain).
• my right ovary seems to have finally released an egg/I felt ovulation pain for the first time on the right side
• my progesterone numbers are trending upwards and my estrogen is balancing

I still have a ways to go balancing my hormones and preparing my body to be able to carry a child. I am no longer eating gluten, I started pelvic floor therapy (every women should do this, seriously), and I am continuing to get bloodwork done to track how my body is responding post surgery.

Throughout this journey, God was leading me in the right direction the entire way. He didn’t leave me abandoned or helpless. He guided me to a new confidence not only in Him, but in myself. I found myself able to advocate more for myself than I had ever imagined. He took me out of my comfort zone more than I care to admit, but He provided the strength I needed throughout the entire process.

I know one day soon I will look back and know the purpose of this journey. I know once I have a child in my arms – biological or not – I can tell them of the goodness of God and share the path of faith Brandon and I took to be able to have them join our family.

6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:6–9